Dear Michael -

My wife and I are looking to experience something new and we had both decided we want to try anal sex. The only thing is that she is afraid of it hurting. If there is anything that would make it feel better for her or for her to feel more comfortable with the idea, it would be highly appreciated by both of us.

- Anonymous


Dear Anonymous -

I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't give you some caution here. It is great to want to keep things fresh and exciting in your marital lovemaking. I'm all for that. However, with anal sex you will be messing around with something that is very risky. There is a lot of potential for tearing and long-term problems and you can find lots of documented cases of serious injuries. Obviously you also have the sanitary issue to consider as well.

It is true that there are some sensitive/pleasurable nerve endings in the anus but those are really only on the exterior inch. So, the only pleasure she will receive is if you touch that area only - maybe you could use your fingertips instead.

Sure, you can try to *clean her out* and massage and stretch and lubricate the opening and take it very slowly to minimize the pain for her but honestly I think there are much better ways to make things fresh for you without the enormous risks of anal sex.

I am sending you a copy of my 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets. You will have years worth of new tips. You will see that you don't have to do risky things to keep it exciting.

Michael

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I wish I had this warning. I allowed my boyfriend to talk me into this several years ago and now ever time I go to the toilet I bleed.

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Your tips and insights are incredibly invaluable. More couples need to avail themselves of those practical, useful and proven tips. I'm sure if they did they wouldn't be looking to use the one part of the human body that has a singular specific use (elimination) when there are so many other places that are suitable and acceptable for recreation.

I have to shake my head at so many people asking for better ideas on anal sex and ATM when I can look out my window and see that the animals in nature have sense enough to play and forage everywhere on my property except on the septic tank; which they avoid completely. That's an object lesson if ever I saw one...

Keep up the good work so that people will continue to learn from "Virtuoso Lover", "Blow by Blow" and "Lick by Lick". Each of those will help anyone become more skilled in lovemaking, enjoying it much more so they don't feel the need to play where it's not safe or good.

Susan K.
from WV