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Dear Michael -

We are having a hard time having him come during intercourse.  It can go 30-45 minutes and I will end up having to stop and put lotion on his penis and make it cum with my hand.  He is around 300 lbs and not very big so positions can be difficult for us.  I usually ride on top of him and change to the cowboy position which after 30-45 minutes can be very tiring on my legs.  Any suggestions on positions that may work for us?

Thanks,
C.

Dear C. -

Being seriously overweight can create several challenges when it comes to lovemaking.  The weight certainly puts a lot of stress on his heart, reduces his stamina and would likely decrease the blood flow to his penis.  Additionally, every 10 pounds a man is overweight will "shrink" his penis by about 1/4 an inch.  So, at 100 pounds overweight, a man loses 2.5 inches of length because it is covered up by excess fat.

As you have learned, there is more than one way to make a guy cum. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually enjoys cumming via a handjob or blowjob vs. intercourse.

Here are some additional positions you might consider for men who are overweight (for overweight women, I recommend you check out A Big Beautiful Woman's Guide to Great Sex.

T Square Position
The woman is on her back with her legs raised and spread wide apart. Her partner lies on his side with his hips under the arch formed by her raised legs. With his abdomen out of the way the penis can easily penetrate the vagina.

X Position
The woman lies on her back with her legs bent at the hips and her thighs spread as wide as possible. After the penis is inserted into the vagina, the woman then brings both legs together, while the man swings his body, in either direction, forming a large X. The woman should contract the muscles of her vagina (holding kegel) while the male is moving to avoid the penis from slipping out. This position is tricky to get into, but once in position itís pleasurable.

Stand And Deliver
The woman is semi-reclining across the edge of a low bed, (use your elbows to help support your weight) and two chairs supporting the feet. The man kneels or stands in front of her while penetrating and thrusting. He can place pillows under his knees, if necessary, for elevation.

The man lies face up over the edge of the bed with his legs together and his feet touching the floor. Place a pillow under the small of his back for support. The woman then stands astride him close to the edge of the bed, and inserts his penis.

With one partner standing and the other lying over the edge of the bed, the standing partner has a lot of options for adjusting the angle of approach.

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