Dear Michael -

I am a receiver of your emails and I enjoy every one of them. I had to get up enough nerve to write you so here it goes. Please keep me anonymous if this should be published.

I was a 49 year old virgin to my man. I picked him and I don't regret my choice and I'm quite sure that he was thrilled also. We only slept together 3 time and neither one of those time was it painful. The only thing is that I didn't get that tingle in my body or an orgasm to go with it. Now keep in mind that I was 49 on my 1st try with a man. We slept together two times afterwards and I still didn't get that tingling sensation. Is this normal for the body to react this way and then eventually it will kick in? I get horny just thinking about sex but when I am into it I get nothing.

Thanks,
Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld -

First, let me set your mind at ease that your situation is quite normal. Very few women are naturally orgasmic - meaning that orgasms come easily for them from typical penetration.

There are three things you might want to try.

* An estimated 90% of women can orgasm if they have over 20 minutes of good foreplay.  That can be in the form of touching or even foreplay games (check out my 100 Great Sex Games for Couples).

* Positions are crucial.  The missionary position gives the man all the control for HIS orgasm, not for HER orgasm.  Woman on top is one of the best positions for you to be able to have his penis rub up against your clitoris in the way that is necessary to bring you to orgasm.

* Almost all women can come to orgasm from a man who knows how to lovingly give cunnilingus.

So, you are probably going to have to teach your man to be a more patient and giving lover in order for you to have orgasms.  But don't fret.  In time you will both become more comfortable and skilled at pleasing each other.

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