LOVEMAKING ANSWERS

~ Honest answers to your questions on sex ~

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Hi Michael...

My husband is more than willing to "go down on me" and try to please me in any way possible. He gets very frustrated, because I'm just uncomfortable with him focusing all the attention on me and my pleasure. This has resulted in me not enjoying sex much, and him constantly asking me to "tell him what I like."

The simple truth is, I don't know what I like or what feels good.

I was very sick & in a coma when I was a teenager, and a male adult close to the family molested me while I was in the coma. I have been through years of therapy & am doing great now, but I'm sure that it had lingering effects on my enjoyment of sex. (My first and only sexual partner is my husband, and we waited until our wedding night for religious reasons.) Do you have any tips for us?

Also, if he's "going down on me," I feel really weird & guilty just laying there. What should I do: close my eyes, or watch him? Touch him in some way, like his hair or shoulders? Thank you so much for any advice you can give us. We both really enjoy all the newsletters you send. This is a tough question to ask, but any feedback you have would truly be appreciated. God bless you! (And, obviously, please do not use my name!!)

Thanks,
J.

 

Dear J. -

I am so glad you are wanting to work on this.  For most couples, it really does take years of learning and practice before sex gets great.  In study after study, we see that couples married 20 years or more report having the best sex lives of anyone.

Your husband sounds like he is very caring and giving.  In order for cunnilingus to be the best possible experience for the both of you, you will have to guide him. Even if he has been with other women, each lady is different and you will have to let him know with your moans, sighs and other verbal cues (faster, right there, a little to the left, YES!) what is most pleasurable for you. 

While he is down there, grab his hair and gently tug at it.  Lightly scratch his back. Or even grab his shoulders. The more your get into it with your voice and actions, the more pleasure it will give him in return.

As you get more comfortable with him in bed, you might want to shift your body so you can pleasure his most sensitive regions with your hands and lips while he is going down on you.

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500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets

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