Dear Michael -

I am a virgin, not quite the 40 year old virgin but close enough. I am engaged to be married and could use some advice on what I can do to prepare my body for intercourse, most especially my vagina.

I'll just tell you now, my greatest fear is fit. I've never seen my fiancé in the nude or rubbed up against him in that way before so I'm not sure what he has to offer but I don't even use tampons so my fears are laden with whether he will fit and how uncomfortable it will all be. Can I do something that will prepare me for my wedding night, or whatever night we choose as our first, fully united? I'd appreciate any input you might have.

God's continued blessings.

Always, Kai

Dear Kai -

You should have absolutely no fear as to his size. If women can give birth, they can accommodate any size thickness. Only about 2% of men are abnormally long and would have problems with the typical intercourse should they thrust too deeply.

What will be important for you is foreplay - to give your body the time to loosen up and lubricate so you get maximum enjoyment.

If your hymen is intact, there very well might be some pain when it is torn. If your honeymoon room has a hot tub then you might want to have a nice soak in the hot tub (along with a little alcohol) which will relax you and prepare you. After the hymen is broken then you should not have to worry about any pain - it will only be pleasure.

I really applaud you for keeping yourself pure. What a fantastic gift you are giving to your husband on your wedding day.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

Michael Webb

Reader's responses:

Dear Kai,

It's SO awesome that you have saved yourself for your future husband!

My main advice to you is do not fear to tell your new husband exactly how you're feeling - in this case, physically. If the first time you make love is a bit uncomfortable, ask him to go slowly and easily. That way he can gently and slowly stretch you open. This is a very special time for both of you to explore new territory in your marriage relationship - take your time and enjoy the journey!

As Michael mentioned that our bodies can birth babies (and therefore, made to "fit" a man), even birth is a very slow, steady progression of the baby coming out of our bodies. So too, let your first act of love-making be slow and steady.

Congratulations and RELISH all that God has given us to enjoy in our spouses!

~ Kris ~