Dear Michael -

Am I supposed to feel it when he cums inside me? And I feel like I don't even really know when i cum! I mean, I get wet really easily with him, but I don't know if I orgasm or not...it sounds kind of dumb being that I'm almost 40!

Also, I have been married more than once (more than twice!), and I know there were some things that the others did that felt good, and he will ask me what feels good to me, but I feel weird telling him what other men have done to please me - I want him to try things on me that I would feel would be 'special' between us... do I tell him things anyway? I don't want to hear what another woman did to him...!!!

Thanks - anon. in TX

 

Dear Anon in TX -

From what I've heard/read the average woman will not feel the average load cumming inside her.

What many women will feel is the pulsating, throbbing and twitching of the penis when a man is ejaculating.

When a man cums a lot then it is possible you might feel the warmth inside you and when you stand up, perhaps leaking out of you.

In regards to you not feeling when you are coming, my guess is that you haven't orgasm.  A woman can get very wet without having an orgasm.  Men get hard in preparation for intercourse. Women get wet. 

If you don't know if you have ever had an orgasm, I suggest you masturbate until you have one so you will know for certain what one feels like.  There should be some tingling and a rush of pleasure. 

You should absolutely tell your man what you know feels good to you.  No wonder you don't cum!  Most men want to be very giving lovers.  We want to give our wives immense pleasure.  We want them to scream with delight and have orgasm after orgasm.  Next time he asks - tell him what you like.  Be specific too.  Give him directions.  Tell him when the speed up and slow down and when the keep doing what he is doing.

READER'S RESPONSES:

Dear Ms. Texas ~

Regarding being able to feel a man's orgasm, you will
not feel much more than it getting sometimes harder just
before, then a jerking, pulsating and spasm sensation as he cums inside of you.

As far as your situation, I'd almost be willing to say that you've never had an orgasm. It sounds like you've been taken to the brink many times by your description of "being wet" and "things feeling good", however, once you've plunged over the edge of that cliff there will never, ever be another doubt in your mind! :-)

I'd suggest you spend a little time alone in your bathtub - lying on your back, scoot up under the faucet AFTER you have set it to a small, moving flow of water ... at room temperature.  The water will dance and flicker, if you will, and mimic the movements of your lover's tongue on your clit. You want a very light pressure and sensation from the water, so, in the case of water flow, less is more.

Wait... let your mind go and relax.

It will feel good - but don't give up just yet!!! :-)
This is the most surefire way for any woman who has never
had an orgasm to experience her first. Vibrators, etc. often provide too intense of a sensation and with prolonged use can desensitize you to the actual feelings provided by sex with your partner.

Once you have had the "BIG O" ... you'll know!!!

You will also then be able to guide your lover by telling him
what you want him to do with his hands, fingers, mouth, etc.
to bring you to orgasm.

Rest assured, if he finds out that you've never had an orgasm
with the other men you've been with - he's going to be like
a kid in the candy store trying to be the first ... and wanting
to be the best he can for you.

You should even consider buying Michael's ebook "Lick by Lick" and give it to him as a gift. I'm going to bet he'll love your enthusiasm!! While you're at it, get yourself the "Blow by Blow" book.

He may not be the first man you've ever been with or even married to... but ... sounds to me like you are ready for you both to be the best "lovers" that each of you have ever had.

Good Luck!!!

TiKi
Alabama

..............

My heavens!!!!! If you're over 40 and you still haven't learned how and what to communicate it's no wonder you've been married more than twice! Grow up and get real. Tell the man what you want and how you want it or be prepared to not get it. Ask him what he likes. It doesn't matter if another woman did it to him; he's with you now and you should make your mind up to please him how HE wants it and then expect to be pleased how YOU want it in return. Get in touch with yourself.... it might help to touch yourself and experiment on yourself since it sounds like you haven't. Stop being such a prude!