Dear Michael -

My boyfriend subscribes to your messages and I decided to pose a question to you. Our sexuality is fabulous as I enjoy more orgasms than I can count usually. So much so that I do not share my experience with girlfriends since they are mostly married and I feel like it is 'rubbing it in' when conversations about sex come up. One thing that worries me is often he will choose to masturbate after we finish and I am very pleased but annoyed that he does not 'give me the juice.' Again this happens often but not every time as he is heavy set and my thighs and hips are usually sore and stiff and...well...we last for far longer than any other partner I have had. Please comment on why masturbation has to a part of great sex Michael. Oh I am also writing the message from his email address... we read your tips aloud often from my laptop.

Thanks,
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous -

Your basic question is why would your boyfriend choose to climax via masturbation instead of penetration?

Certainly you could ask him....

Or, here are my best guesses as to why.

First, let's suppose that he is a very generous and caring lover. He realizes that his size can be uncomfortable and perhaps downright painful after prolonged humping.  You have said he has already brought you to orgasm before he decides to take matters into his own hands - literally.  He's being kind.

For many men, masturbation can bring about a stronger, more powerful and enjoyable orgasm than vaginal penetration. That is because with his hand he can almost completely control when he comes.  With his hands, a man can bring himself on the edge of climax and back off numerous times before he takes himself over the edge.  Also, because his hand is very intimately familiar with the penis, he knows exactly how to touch, rub and stroke himself to eruption.

It is possible that he has a difficult time coming to orgasm when he is on top of you.  It might be because of his weight or simply the fact that he is used to coming via masturbation. Masturbation can become an unwelcome habit if it gets in the way of lovemaking. 

Guys are visual creatures and it might give him much satisfaction watching the cum erupt from his penis.  Many guys love watching it spurt onto their partners.

Here is what you can do so this isn't a solo finale for him.  As he strokes himself nibble, suck or pinch his nipples (most guys love that) and even gently stroke, cup or gently tug on his balls.  Rub the area between his sac and his anus and put a little pressure there.  And if you are game, ask him to spill his juice on your belly or chest.  

READER'S RESPONSES:

It is so true that men do love to watch themselves cum and I found out I enjoy it just as much and if he is satisfying
you first than you have it made, enjoy it and drive him over the top by rubbing your fingers or hands in it when he cums
on your belly or chest.

- Vickie

..............

I have to agree with you Michael, As a healthy 46 year old I enjoy both spilling my seed in my lover as well as sharing it on her outsides. I myself do prefer to shoot my load across her clitoris or manage to sprinkle her breasts should I pull out. To your poster who asked. Don't be discouraged take part in your husbands orgasm and show him you want to be involved. position yourself so he can unload on you in a way that you find exciting as well. You might have some training to do, Challenge him to orgasm inside you and then you can share a cream pie delight. A don't be afraid to let him know you want his seed inside you to feed your heated desire.
Communication is the only thing you can rely on. be open and trusting and your love making will shine through

Bradley T..