Dear Michael -


I recently had a baby and my husband and I have tried
twice. And both times it was painful and he was premature. Do
you have any suggestions for it to be less painful, and to
get him to get back to his old self?

- Long Time Reader

Dear Long Time Reader -

Most doctors recommend waiting for 6-8 weeks after giving birth to engaging in intercourse. Obviously there are other sex acts besides vaginal penetration you can try. You just pushed a huge mass of flesh through your vagina and it is understandably tender. In time it will be just fine (but of course if you are still in pain after a couple of months check with your doctor).

As far as your husband goes, it too is quite understandable that after probably a few weeks of not being able to enjoy your body that he got overly excited and came quicker than usual. As your intercourse becomes more regular, I am sure he will be his old self again.

....................

Other feedback:

There are a few products on the market that are helpful in slowing a man down. I am an advisor for Pajama Parties, and we sell a product called Forever Yours that helps him last a bit longer.

As far as pain goes, the most important thing is that it's safe. As long as you've spoken with a doctor and he/she feels that you can return to regular sexual activity, there is another product you might be interested in. It's called Fanny Friendly, and is usually used for anal sex, though it is fine for vaginal sex as well. Just rub a little on and give yourselves a few minutes of foreplay, and that can help deaden the nerves so there's no pain. Keep in mind that you don't want to lose all feeling, so avoid the clitoris when you're putting it on, and try to only get it in the areas that hurt. Again, I want to stress that this is only good for if your doctor has approved sexual activity. Pain can be a warning sign.

Good luck getting back into the swing of things!

Tanya