Dear Sex Answers:

I have a female colleague who is suffering from vaginismus - painful and overly tight vagina which does not allow proper penis penetration. Do you have any good solutions to that?

Tks

Wilson


Hi Wilson

For the readers who don't know what vaginismus is, it's a contraction of the pevlic floor muscles during intercourse that can cause her much pain when she attempts to have sex.

These muscle contractions are involuntary, so she can't control her body's response. They can be so strong that for the man it's like hitting a brick wall and for the woman the pain unbearable.

A woman can purchase a kit that has a variety of dialators from small on up and used with lubrication, patience and a truly regular basis, can teach her body to accept what it deems as a foreign object and a man's penis fits this category! :-) It's something she'll have to do daily, but if she keeps at it, her body will come around.

Check out www.vaginismus.com for kits that can be purchased discreetly online. Since she knows the name of her condition, I'm assuming she's already seen a doctor.

TiKi

This is something that she really needs to see a doctor about, and perhaps even a sex therapist. Vaginismus is often a vicious cycle because the vaginal muscles contract when trying to have sexual intercourse, but then the mind plays tricks before sex and can cause an involuntary tightening of the muscles. Then one plays off the other. Other factors come into play as well – menopause causes the vaginal walls to thin, which can cause pain if it tears.

Does she already have a diagnosis, or is she making an educated guess, based on her symptoms? If she has not seen a doctor, she needs to so she can rule out other problems, like dyspareunia.

Vaginismus does not need to spell the death knell in a relationship though. Women who experience this can still have orgasms through oral sex, or when the clitoris is stimulated. As long as she and her partner can come to some consensus and that makes them both happy, they can work through this medical condition.


Cori

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