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Dear Michael:

My wife & I have been married for 11 years now. We have had a good enough love life. But she began to put on weight. This does not bother me, because I love her regardless. I love the woman not just her body.

However, with the added weight came a distinctive odor that I find unpleasant when we are performing oral sex.
I mentioned this to her one night. I am not good at talking about these things and she was hurt by my comments.
Mike, I never wanted to hurt her, I just was trying to help, I suggested a douche, but by then the damage had been done.

She told me later that what I said hurt her and damaged her self confidence around others. She now is saying that she needs time to trust me again with her feelings.
I don't know how to make this right again. If it's time she needs I can give her all the time she needs, but is there something I can do to help, or have I done too much already?
Thanks for any advice.

Rick



Dear Rick -

Yes, women are sensitive but you were right in letting her know that it is less than pleasant for you at times. Douching is rarely a good idea. It usually makes it worse for women in the long run. She probably has more odor because of the weight which creates more sweat and places for it to linger. You might time your going down on her after she has taken a shower or bath -- or give her plenty of warning when you might want to get frisky so she can prepare herself.

I'm pretty sure she'll get over it in time. Just compliment her on a lot of other things to boost her confidence.

- Michael
 

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